


Now Having Survived

by talesofsuspense



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Fix-It, Gen, Improper Use of the Soul Stone (Probably)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-11-02 06:04:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20646749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talesofsuspense/pseuds/talesofsuspense
Summary: “A soul for a soul” is what the rules were. Natasha never took things at face value.Or, how Natasha Romanoff bent the rules of sacrifice.





	Now Having Survived

**Author's Note:**

> I really have clue what to say about this other than the idea of Nat somehow saving herself wouldn’t leave my mind. This is the result of that crazy thought. I figure if the writers and directors can make stuff up that doesn't make sense, so can I. You can decide if this has a happy ending for everyone or if it follows the movie’s path for the rest of it.

_ They'd better have missed me _, Natasha thinks to herself as she scales her way back up the cliff side. The air feels colder now, like it’s biting at her skin. She ignores it. Coldness is no stranger to her, after all. Her arms are stinging slightly as she hauls her weight up, but it’s easy enough to push through. Those months spent working out idealized notions of revenge on punching bags alone in the compound’s gym are being put to good use.

When she reaches the top she collapses onto the plateau, rolling to her side to look out over the cliff she’d thrown herself off of a few hours ago. The sky is just as bright as it was, but an angrier color- more reddish. Natasha briefly wonders if the sun sets here like it does on Earth, if at all. Maybe, if the circumstances were different, she could say that it was pretty. As it is, though, she just wanted to leave. She got up on her knees, ignoring the sting in her lungs, and then pushed herself onto her feet, clinging to a nearby rock. 

“You are a resourceful one, Natasha Romanoff,” Red Skull says, hovering above a few inches off the ground as he was before she’d thrown herself over. He’s grotesque and the sight of him makes her nauseous. “No one has ever tricked the stone before, though many have tried. I’m impressed.”

“Go fuck yourself,” Natasha spits, walking past him through the cave-like entrance she’d walked up with Clint earlier. She has no time for even sarcastic quips, not with a horrendous Nazi who should’ve been long dead. The cave leads to the barren landscape she remembers. Red Skull isn't following her, but she can feel his eyes on her back. Good, she thinks, he’s trapped there and she is not. 

Her ribs on the right side are hurting. She must’ve cracked some on the landing. It's the least of her concerns though, she made it out alive. She looks down at the GPS strapped around her hand and has a brief thought about using the last of the Pym Particles to travel back to before Thanos snapped and stop all of this from ever happening. She puts it out her mind almost immediately, she’s not so naive to believe anything could be that simple, time travel doesn’t work like that. There's rules guiding all of this, rules beyond even her own skill set. Things the universe has decided are immovable, unchangeable. There's never been an easy way out, not for Natasha. She sighs, ignoring the twinge of pain that shoots up from just above her belly button to under her right armpit. She looks at the GPS again, “Don’t let me down now.”

——

It turns out traveling back when you’ve missed your assigned return time hurts. It hurts like being ripped apart on an atomic level. She lands on her knees on the launchpad, clutching at her own body to make sure she's in one piece. She focuses on the sound of a bird to center herself, realign her breathing into a more steady in and out rhythm. Her helmet collapses from around her head.

“Agent Romanoff?” A voice asks, startling Natasha. She looks around, confused for a moment, before the voice comes again. “Agent Romanoff, are you okay?”

The heavy accent gives it away and Natasha nods sharply, “Yes, FRIDAY, I’m good.”

“It’s good to have you back,” FRIDAY says, and Natasha smiles a little. she pushes herself up, finally, looking around her. The entire space is empty. That make sense, she supposes. The team, they wouldn’t linger at a time like this.

“FRIDAY, where is the team?” Natasha asks. They could've solved everything already. They have everything they need, all the stones, and as far as they know, Natasha is dead. She lets out a rough exhale. It's luck that she’s here at all, honestly. Luck isn’t something she likes relying on, but at times there is no other choice.

“They're out in the back, on the deck by the pond. They’re- well I’m pretty sure they’re mourning you, Agent Romanoff,” FRIDAY replies. Oh, Natasha thinks. She thought more time would have passed. This is going to be awkward.

——

Natasha stops walking before she reaches the deck. She stands and watches the team for a moment. They look exhausted, defeated, and for a moment she feels a burst of regret for not telling Clint her plan. But the regret is short-lived. She hadn’t known if it would actually work, it would've been far worse to assume it would and have them all waiting around for a dead body that was never showing up. At least this would be a pleasant surprise. When Steve stands and says _ “We will” _Natasha starts walking again.

“Don't you know it's rude to talk about someone right in front of them?” Natasha asks, going for a light, teasing tone. She doesn't actually much experience in reintroducing herself to her family who assumed she was dead. Reverting to light-heartedness seems like the best bet.

All of their heads snap her way at once, and under difference circumstances it might even be funny. Now though, Natasha is just glad to see them all again. She’s standing closest to Steve and Tony, but it’s Clint who reaches her first. He barrels into her, squeezing her shoulders and letting out a wet sob into her neck. She winces as the pain reignites in her ribs, but hugs back as much as she can. 

“How?” Clint asks when he finally pulls back. Natasha shoots him a lopsided smile.

“It’s a long story,” she says and Thor comes over and, shockingly, pulls her into a hug. “Oh. It’s good to see you too Thor.”

“I couldn’t bear to lose another person,” Thor says, his voice suspiciously thick. He pulls back but leaves one hand gently squeezing her shoulder. “Thank god you’ve made it back.”

Bruce comes up to her next, offering a wordless hug that she returns. Then Tony, who brings his hand up to cradle the back of her head. She grins against his ear.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again, Romanoff,” Tony whispers. She squeezes him tighter, a wordless response of her own. “You’re not allowed to die before me, Nat.”

“No promises,” Nat says when they part, but she’s smiling as she says it.

Steve is last and when Nat glances at him she can see the tear tracks, the slight red around his eyes. It’s not so obvious as Clint was, but it's enough to make her heart ache. He doesn't move towards her, he looks frozen in shock still. She walks up to him, wrapping one around the back of his neck and leaving one to rub his back. Funny, she was the one who “died”, yet she was the one comforting everyone.

Her touch seems to startle him out of his trance and he jerks, leaning into her more, burying his face in her neck similar to the way Clint had. Natasha can feel him shaking slightly and she frowns, clenching her fingers in his hair.

“You okay, Steve?” She asks. He doesn't respond, just shivers again. “Hey, I’m here. I’m not dead. You were just giving an affirmation to not let my death go to waste, I know you can pull it together.”

Steve pulls back at that and gives her a watery smile. She smiles back. She had been alone for most of five years, but so had he. At the time she’d been mad when he left the compound, but she knew it was because of his own weight he was carrying, and that nothing she could say could change that. And when they weren’t alone, it was because the other was there. 

“I’m glad you’re back,” Steve says, wiping his eyes a little. Natasha nods before looking away from him. Everyone is politely not watching. When she turns towards him, Clint pulls her into another quick hug.

“I’ve never been hugged so much in my life,” Natasha laughs, trying to ignore the tightness in her own chest. It hurt her just seeing how much the team was affected by the death of one of their own. They hadn't even been an actual team in years, but that kind of connection doesn’t disappear, not really.

——

“So, how exactly did you make it back from the dead?” Tony asks when they’re back inside, sitting in the common area.

“I never actually died,” Natasha says. Everyone shoots her a disbelieving look. Fair enough, she thinks.

“But how,” Clint starts. He leans forward on the table and Natasha can see his fingers shaking just slightly. “I saw you. I literally saw you fall and-”

“Adenosine,” Natasha says, cutting him before she has to see him start crying. She really doesn’t want to see that, or hear it, again. “It stops the heart for 6 seconds. I keep it attached to the inner lining of my suit so it can function like an epipen. It’s come in handy before, back before the Avengers were a thing.”

“But I thought for the soul stone, the stone would need an actual soul exchange,” Bruce interjects. “Clint said that was the rule. A soul for a soul.”

“That’s what the stone’s guardian said, but who knows if that’s actually true. He said no one else has survived attempting to trick the stone before,” Natasha shrugs, purposely leaving out the fact that the guardian was Red Skull. She didn't know if Steve knew, and she wasn’t going to be the one to bring it up. It was unimportant anyway. She certainly didn’t feel soulless, and the stone hadn’t disappeared when she returned, so she wasn’t going to worry about the logistics. “Maybe it’s just dramatic phrasing.”

“But the actual fall? How did you survive that? I mean, I saw you Nat. There was blood,” Clint’s voice chokes off towards the end and Natasha watches as Thor reaches over to squeeze his shoulder. The guy has certainly got a lot freer with physical affection. It’s nice, she thinks. And being touch-starved yourself can do that to a person.

“Thin reinforced transparent wire, extra cushioning on the back of my suit — thanks Tony — and fake blood. I put it against the shoulder of my suit while the stone guardian was talking to us,” Natasha tries for a smile, hoping it will comfort Clint a little. She knew what it was like to watch someone you cared about die. They all did, but now she has the experience from a different side, too. “A little unnecessary dramatics, maybe, but I wanted to cover all my bases.”

“The thread,” Tony said. “Where did you get thread strong enough to break your fall?”

“I do have other resources besides you, Stark,” she smirked, raising an eyebrow at him. He rolled his eyes. “Besides, it didn't exactly break my fall, the cushioning did most of that. It just made it so I didn’t hit as hard as I should’ve. I actually am pretty sure I broke a few ribs.”

“Nat!” Steve says, reaching out to grab her wrist gently. “You’re just sitting here talking while you have broken ribs?”

“It’s not like there’s a sudden fix,” Nat shrugs, patting the hand holding her wrist before pulling her wrist back.

“We could get you some pain killers,” Steve says, and before she can say it doesn’t matter, the return trip hurt worse than the ribs, he’s already up and out of the room. She shakes her head.

“Well, now that we’ve got all that out of the way. There’s still a snap we have to take care of, so what's the plan?” She asks, glancing around the table.

That sends Bruce and Tony into a long explanation and Natasha leans back in her chair, holding her hand against her sore ribs, taking the pills Steve offers with a smile. Time to get their universe back.


End file.
